Monday, April 6, 2009


It has come time for me to address an issue plaguing both myself personally and more importantly the world. Often I find myself in South Beach or in another location of an Avant-garde scene where I will see a woman so starved for attention she starves herself. Please explain this fad to me. Yes it is true I love myself but not enough to want to engage in relations with my mirror image.

Now before I rant I must disclaim the following: In no way am I prejudiced against small breasts. Anyone who knows me could peer into my track record of past lovers to find all of them were pushing “A” cups if the stuffed midgets in their bras. I assure you my detestation does not spawn from this. It is the fact that said girls are so hell bent on being thin girls they end up looking like boys. Only closet homosexuals’ posses the wear-with-all to find such a girl attractive. In fact I know such a “protector of his sexuality” who dates one of these monsters of malnourishment, for this particular example he will be referred to as “Dane.” Dane finds it attractive to starve his girlfriend to the point of undernourishment as to make her look like his perfect male concubine. One question, where are the parents.

Any self-respecting parent would sit their beloved down and force-feed her a Big-Mac. I know mine would. This continuance in trend leads me to believe it must stem from daddy issues. Listen up sweetheart, keep making yourself thinner and people will continue to ridicule you. Which means only a matter time before you take their critiques as an excuse to skip a few meals. Come to think of it keep starving yourself, hopefully you will eventually cause your own demise and natural selection will carry on, business as usual. A tip of my hat to you anorexic, bulimic, or whatever you go by “twelve year old boy” looking girl. Continue to make your statement however small it may be.


1 comment:

  1. 2 things... "Dane" hahahah i like to call him Gave... but whatever... and also as i recall u watched what i ate more than i did... asshole.